Well, here’s the wildest dream I’ve had in a while. I point this one out because it led me to think of some good music, and a good idea for a song to compose…if only I could make it a little less generic.
In short: a couple nights ago, I dreamt of the world’s worst Mario sports game.
I dreamt of a weird sports video game that didn’t show itself to be a Mario game until more than halfway through. The graphics were…unnecessarily dark and badly-lit, perhaps to get the lighting of things like the ball to work out.
Said game wasn’t really a normal ball game. Best I can figure, it played out like some weird crossbreed of Pong, cricket and kickball, that seemed to be entirely played in driveways or in the alleyways between buildings. The rules appeared to be that everyone stood where they were, then a player kicked this glowing ball towards the only active member of the opposing team, who kicked the ball away like in, well, kickball. However, after that, the idea seemed to be that everyone had to bounce the ball at the kicker in an attempt to have it bounce past them, but it had to pass real close so it ended up directly behind, like cricket without the wickets. This meant it was more about rallying the ball back and forth and ensuring that when it stopped bouncing, it was somewhere ahead of the lone kicker, which scored points…some…how.
I assume this is where the irregular field shape came into play. See, that way, the ball would bounce in different patterns depending on where the kicker decided to hit it, and this is where I start seriously overanalyzing imagery from a dream in order to somehow make sense of it.
Here is where things went completely batdookie NUTS.
So the opposing team decides it’s gonna put its captain on the field, who turns out to be this big gorilla man of a dude with greasy hair and a hat that covers his eyes. My call?
With commentators dropping their fudge over my decision…I sent in Donkey Kong.
Immediately, the field changed. Apparently I hadn’t asked DK to go to the game I was already playing, oh no no no, that’d be too simple. I had to make a kick against a serve…thrown at me by a giant robot.
Who shot the ball from a cannon.
With all this buildup, naturally I do what you’d think I would, which is entirely botch this and get DK nuked. But it’s okay, because apparently this game was also built around the concept of entirely changing gameplay as things transpire.
You see, suddenly the game turned into a third person tank/robot arena combat game.
As if that wasn’t enough, this game had a seriously misleading FMV cutscene introducing it, because there were all sorts of giant robots and stuff being shown beating the crap out of each other, including this really cool design that had a giant shield for a face and chest that opened down the middle to act as a giant jaw, and once the match actually started, it turned out my team was made of cardboard. Mostly, just cardboard boxes that shot little red bullets at one another. Except for mine, which looked vaguely like the Mach 5…also made out of cardboard.
This was when the music I was talking about kicked in. It sounded like somebody tried to make their own Misirlou and quit halfway through. Same main guitar sound, same very beachy vibe.
I don’t know how that fight turned out, because people were barely making dents in one another and the fight seemed to drag on for ages until I finally woke up. Presumably, if I slept further, I would’ve only dreamt of the game suddenly switching to a whole new set of mechanics with no score and no win conditions.
It was a bizarre, annoying night.