Part of what makes VNs special as a medium is that, as they are almost always told from 1st person POV, the reader is able to become the main character. You are supposed to feel what they feel, know what they know, and maybe most importantly, see as they see. If you think of the VN as a game or a novel, then yeah it is pornography. But if you think of it as an experience, then it becomes more involving, more real (maybe?). Of course this is only applicable when the H-scenes are done “tastefully.”
This also goes back to how the sex is presented and how you as a reader choose to see/interpret it.
