A lot of the quotes seem to… not fit the guidelines? Don’t wanna be too picky, maybe there are no alternatives, but there seems to be a mismatch.
Makoto’s quote seems too out of character when taken out of context. Not sure I like it. There’s a bunch that capture that same abandoned-puppy theme but in a way I find more fitting to Makoto’s general personality, and that come from a Makoto that has memories.
“If I go to sleep by myself, I’m all by myself in a really dark place… It’s so dark I can’t see anything… and I’m so alone.”
Or maybe get something more upbeat.
“You’ve got to put the fun things first.”
“If it was always spring, I’d always be happy…”
I think the focus of the Mai quote is off. I think it should be more about Mai’s strong sense of friendship. Something like:
“I want us to be together as well… I don’t mind you, so I want us to be together. You, me and Sayuri.”
Or maybe it’d be best to show how her weapon, her meaning in life, is top priority even if she seems to not care about herself.
“I’ll look after you afterwards, okay…? But right now I’m going to borrow your weapon.”
She isn’t the most quotable girl around.