Fitting this into the Litbus world, where do you see it?
Where does this boy come from? Why?
Where in the timeline does it take place?
Does it link to the overarching plot of Litbus at all?
Uh… I mean, Litbus had not-bad-ends… but I wouldn’t say “happy.”
I don’t think it has to be linked to the dream universe. Why not simply put this route as an EX route, that takes place after Refrain? (Actually ME, since EX would require a H-scene, and there’s the problem @Purple mentioned that I don’t think can be solved easily)
The way my story ended wasn’t completely happy. Suginami probably was a little sad for letting the boy go, and the boy was also sad because he was rejected.
Spoiler tags!
The EX routes were pretty dependent on the secret of the world.
Still, you have to think, will it start at the end of Refrain? Will it start in Fall? Winter?
How is Riki being pictured? Can his character development from the VN be seen? Is he just the same old Riki?
It isn’t a matter of happy or sad for the characters. What matters is the reader. Is the ending happy or sad to someone reading it? Will people care if this random guy was rejected?
From what I can tell, you have an ending that isn’t really positive, but isn’t negative either. It’s just… an ending.
I think you need to decide what it is you want this route to be about. What moral do you want to preach?
I wouldn’t diverge that far from the VN, so yes, it can be seen.
Some time later. Spring.
Mio’s ending was completely happy for me, if what matters is the reader. I didn’t like Midori, so I didn’t care about her.
This story was me trying to think of a route whose main focus is romance. It’s about love, and how changeable our hearts can be. The moral: you need to be strong and let go of the past.
Thinking about it, it would be better if she chose the other guy, but then realized she wasn’t in love with him anymore, and then she goes back to Riki.
Let me rephrase, where is he main conflict in the story?
She is afraid to confess to him? That’ll happen in the beginning of the route
Riki doesn’t know how to deal with it? That’s around the early middle of the route
The love triangle should be the biggest source of conflict, yes, but you yourself said:
In that case, where is the emotional conflict? Now your new suggestion:
Would definitely be a lot more conflicting.
Now, I don’t know much about writing, but I agree with the suggestions @Takafumi is giving, as well.
I’m just saying something given the situation of your plot and the world of Little Busters 
Just a suggestion, geez
You may be right. It does feel a little broken, like Kud’s route (with more than one conflict), but at least they are related. All the three conflicts are about Suginami’s love experiences and she becoming more mature in the subject. She has to forget the past in order to go for her true feelings.
The second conflict can be focused on Riki, but it also affects Suginami, since she has to have the courage to tell Riki about the other boy and the true reason she fell in love with him. And she fears the possibility of losing her lover again.
Kud’s route was a tad bit disjoint, but by the end, we did learn of her main conflict about her worrying about being a useless gear. I believe I did touch on that on the Kud discussion
I’m okay with this being a Kud-esque route because that was my favorite character route in LB hahaha
Finally took the time to read through this. I appreciate some of the ideas you guys are throwing out, it’s interesting discussion, but I should probably restate that this is still my story. The topic isn’t for discussion of how you would write a Suginami fan story, but rather to comment on my own story. If you want to write a Suginami route, go ahead; I’m still writing this one myself.
Once again: this topic is for me to post updates on my own Episode Suginami, and for you guys to comment. Not saying you have to like what I’m making, but I’ve barely started yet and you’re already off on your own saying how it should be written, ahaha…
I’m sorry for acting so possessive, but yeahhh.
