A general Love discussion thread about it and our respective (mis)conceptions would be great for a change.
Then again, I dunno if opening a new thread or let the mods do it
Back on topic. Romance could be a focus of Suginami’s route, but also, there’s the issue of seeing the “dark side of a group of friends where people gather to bully other people/groups”
Lol. There’s no guarantee I will ever get this chance. And I have no motivation to do so. I’m perfectly happy single.
I would love to see a route with a similar idea to this. For example the route is seen from Suginami’s perspective instead of Riki’s so we get to experience her looking across at a group of friends that seem to have that something that she has been searching for and hasn’t quite found. I would love a story that explored a character that is caught up in a bad friendship but due to whatever reasons is hesitant to leave that group for fear not of backlash but of isolation. I found myself in a similar situation one time which basically amounted to sell out my friends to a bunch of people that I couldn’t have cared less about but were present at the time, or isolate myself in a group in order to maintain my own integrity…man what I wouldn’t give to have an ounce of writing ability.
[quote=“sillylittlemelody, post:30, topic:316”]
Lol. There’s no guarantee I will ever get this chance. And I have no motivation to do so. I’m perfectly happy single.
[/quote]Avoiding turning this into Dr. Phil corner I will leave just one comment on this section and advise to keep an open mind. Often we become complacent in the position we are in in life not knowing that something even better is waiting for us. New experiences are not inherently bad and tend to find us when we are least looking for them.
That’s way beyond what I was talking about. WA2 is actually good.
I think the problem I’d have with this (aside from it being different from Litbus) is that it requires a lot more work on Mutsu’s character. You need to plan out her whole outlook on life… sounds like a lot of work~
Indeed, as of now we have no idea about Mutsumi’s character except that she is kinda shy but feels comfy with familiar people.
Woah she seems like a typical dandere right there.
Yeah it doesn’t have to be LB exactly Suginami just happened to be the convenient comparison being on topic already, but I could see it working as like a spin off fan disc ala Kud Wafter style. Those normally have a tendency to break the original games mold anyway don’t they. lol
I just had an idea. What if Suginami had had a crush on a boy when she was younger? Then, she confessed to him and they started dating. But, her family forbid her because she was poor, then they put her in that boarding school, so she could never see that boy again.
She started liking Riki, because he was similar to that boy. But at the same time, she is afraid to suffer the same pain, by somehow losing Riki, and she’s afraid to confess.
Later in the route, when she had already confessed to Riki, the previous boy can show up again and… Bam! Love Triangle!
Not half-bad! Although with the way you describe it, I am getting the feeling that Mutsumi’s heart still lies with the boy from the past, and the “right” choice might be to let her go.
After all, these might be her “regrets”
But before the love triangle happens, she starts spending time with Riki. So, she starts falling for Riki himself, and when the other boy shows up, she’s not in love with him anymore.
There has to be the moment that Riki finds out about the other boy, though. And this has to be after they start dating and before the boy shows up, because if it’s about the same time of the latter, it would be too complicated: before Suginami could decide between them, Riki still had to put up with the situation and decide about his feelings.
The REAL question here is who gets to write the h scenes
Where’s the conflict in that story, though? Like, if it pans out that way, then there shouldn’t be any problem, and Suginami stays with Riki. That’d be kind of too happily ever after and sort of bland, IMO
Conflict? Did I mention she was afraid to confess to him? I also mentioned that her feelings for Riki happened because of OTHER guy, and I’m sure Riki wouldn’t know how to deal with it. And I also spoke of a LOVE TRIANGLE, that often comes of a lot of drama.
I’m pretty sure these are enough sources of conflict.
There can be a bad end, too. There Suginami stays with the other guy. Would this satisfy you? Why don’t you like happy endings? All the routes in LB! had happy endings…
Fitting this into the Litbus world, where do you see it?
Where does this boy come from? Why?
Where in the timeline does it take place?
Does it link to the overarching plot of Litbus at all?
Uh… I mean, Litbus had not-bad-ends… but I wouldn’t say “happy.”
I don’t think it has to be linked to the dream universe. Why not simply put this route as an EX route, that takes place after Refrain? (Actually ME, since EX would require a H-scene, and there’s the problem @Purple mentioned that I don’t think can be solved easily)
The way my story ended wasn’t completely happy. Suginami probably was a little sad for letting the boy go, and the boy was also sad because he was rejected.
Spoiler tags!
The EX routes were pretty dependent on the secret of the world.
Still, you have to think, will it start at the end of Refrain? Will it start in Fall? Winter?
How is Riki being pictured? Can his character development from the VN be seen? Is he just the same old Riki?
It isn’t a matter of happy or sad for the characters. What matters is the reader. Is the ending happy or sad to someone reading it? Will people care if this random guy was rejected?
From what I can tell, you have an ending that isn’t really positive, but isn’t negative either. It’s just… an ending.
I think you need to decide what it is you want this route to be about. What moral do you want to preach?
I wouldn’t diverge that far from the VN, so yes, it can be seen.
Some time later. Spring.
Mio’s ending was completely happy for me, if what matters is the reader. I didn’t like Midori, so I didn’t care about her.
This story was me trying to think of a route whose main focus is romance. It’s about love, and how changeable our hearts can be. The moral: you need to be strong and let go of the past.
Thinking about it, it would be better if she chose the other guy, but then realized she wasn’t in love with him anymore, and then she goes back to Riki.
Let me rephrase, where is he main conflict in the story?
She is afraid to confess to him? That’ll happen in the beginning of the route
Riki doesn’t know how to deal with it? That’s around the early middle of the route
The love triangle should be the biggest source of conflict, yes, but you yourself said:
In that case, where is the emotional conflict? Now your new suggestion:
Would definitely be a lot more conflicting.
Now, I don’t know much about writing, but I agree with the suggestions @Takafumi is giving, as well.
I’m just saying something given the situation of your plot and the world of Little Busters 
Just a suggestion, geez
You may be right. It does feel a little broken, like Kud’s route (with more than one conflict), but at least they are related. All the three conflicts are about Suginami’s love experiences and she becoming more mature in the subject. She has to forget the past in order to go for her true feelings.
The second conflict can be focused on Riki, but it also affects Suginami, since she has to have the courage to tell Riki about the other boy and the true reason she fell in love with him. And she fears the possibility of losing her lover again.
Kud’s route was a tad bit disjoint, but by the end, we did learn of her main conflict about her worrying about being a useless gear. I believe I did touch on that on the Kud discussion
I’m okay with this being a Kud-esque route because that was my favorite character route in LB hahaha
Finally took the time to read through this. I appreciate some of the ideas you guys are throwing out, it’s interesting discussion, but I should probably restate that this is still my story. The topic isn’t for discussion of how you would write a Suginami fan story, but rather to comment on my own story. If you want to write a Suginami route, go ahead; I’m still writing this one myself.
Once again: this topic is for me to post updates on my own Episode Suginami, and for you guys to comment. Not saying you have to like what I’m making, but I’ve barely started yet and you’re already off on your own saying how it should be written, ahaha…
I’m sorry for acting so possessive, but yeahhh.
