It’ss weird. It’s been so long since I did anything involving Kazamatsuri. I attended the New Year’s Eve party on Discord, with vague promises that I would start coming back more often. I rang in 2019 laughing along with people from around the world at the English dub of the Clannad movie-- I didn’t have anyone with me in person, but I wasn’t alone. And I think that’s what’s so incredible about this website, and the time I spent here. It didn’t matter how long I had been away, too distracted by real life to write long, well-thought out posts, or even to interact much with everyone. I always had the knowledge that there was a whole community I could return to at any time, one that would welcome me with open arms. Where I could really express myself in ways I never could anywhere else.
I first joined Kaza at the tail end of the Air bookclub, in Spring of 2015. I was just a few months away from completing my final year of high school, and I was carrying all the worries and pressures that come from the transition between high school and college. Now, I won’t claim that I’m an expert at interacting with people even now, four years later, but in high school? I was pretty much a complete recluse. The majority of interactions I had were with people outside of my family and people I was required to work with in school. I had a few solid friends I had met on Tumblr and a few other forums, but even in those environments I never really felt like I was a part of anything.
Then I joined Kazamatsuri.
My first real interactions with the people here were actually mainly in the LINE group chat, of all things. I remember going on a family vacation just a few weeks after I signed up, and spending a not insignificant part of the trip looking at my phone, talking to all these new people about anything and everything. I went to the beach and wrote Misuzu and Yukito’s names in the sand, and submitted it as art for the bookclub, because I didn’t have the resources to do anything else, but I wanted to be a part of it anyways.
My first big post was about why Komari was my favorite girl, and my love for her character quickly became one of my trademarks on here. I remember being gifted the “Komari’s Wife” title the morning I was stressing out over a huge AP exam, and it was a little thing, but it actually did make me happy enough that I relaxed a bit. I don’t talk about her nearly as much as I used to, as I’ve expanded into other interests and fixations, but I still wear that badge with pride. I even got to be on her podcast in the Little Busters bookclub (along with a few other podcasts that I was and am so honored to have been a part of) as the resident Komari expert! I think Little Busters and Komari will always be much more special to me because of how I talked about her with members of Kazamatsuri.
That wasn’t the only thing I was known for, though. One day, I saw that there was a thread specifically for sharing fan covers of Key music, and I knew I had found my place, a way I could express my love for the games and anime that meant so much to me.
I was still VERY new to the whole idea of singing anime songs and sharing them with strangers on the internet, and wow did it show. Most of the covers I would have shared back then aren’t even on my channel anymore, they were THAT bad. I had no idea how to mix audio, I was using the built-in microphone on my laptop, I never bothered to fully learn the rhythms for every part of the song I was singing… frankly, in a lot of other communities, I would have been ignored at best and ridiculed at worst. But not here. People were honest about the fact that my work wasn’t perfect, but I always felt encouraged to continue, solely because there were people here who thought I had potential. And while my Youtube channel still isn’t big by any stretch of the imagination, it’s still active, and I’m still doing my best to improve with each new cover. I was even given the “Best Musician” award when those were handed out a few years ago, and I can’t even put into words how much that meant to me.
That shyness I felt back when I joined never fully went away, and as a result I had trouble jumping into the Discord channel, which in turn made me drift away from the site. I still checked it daily for a LONG time, but I found myself having fewer and fewer things to say. The Winter Festival last year was, although brief, a very welcome return to what the site used to feel like when I first joined, and that’s how I want to remember the site: full of kind, passionate people who just wanted to enjoy each others’ company while sharing stories that meant so much to every single one of us.
So, yeah, wow. I knew I had a lot to say, but this turned into a pretty long letter. And yet, somehow, I still feel like I’ve only barely scratched the surface of what this community meant and continues to mean to me. I’ve met so many amazing people during my years here, and had so many great experiences that I never would have had anywhere else. I learned to open myself up and share the real me, and of everything I’ve written here, that is the most important thing I’ll be taking from this whole experience.
Thank you so, so much, everyone. No matter where you go after this, always remember to spread the happiness spiral.
And like most of you have said, it’s also a new beginning. One chapter closes and a new one begins. I can definitely say from the bottom of my heart that I truly have enjoyed being a part of this place of belonging and it’s been a great five years in the making. This community means a lot to me and I’ll forever treasure it. Thank you Kaza! 
). Thinking back on it now, part of the reason behind my actions was because how things were like in other communities I was a part of at the time (and the fact I was like… 14?) where members would insult each other because why not and try to “expose” well-known members because again, why not. As an obvious result, I was banned ! albeit for a single day and I swear, that was the longest day of my life. 
You are the memelord